Rewriting

I’m not a very good writer, but I’m an excellent rewriter. ~ James Michener

Here are some samples of original lines from my story Bicycling Rules of the Road and the final lines after many, many rewrites:


First draft:
“It’s a beautiful morning,” Said Darrin Van Dyke,
  A fantastical day for a ride on my bike.”
  Darrin’s mom gave a shout as he darted outside,
  “Remember the rules of the road on your ride!”

Final:
  “It’s a beautiful morning,” Said Devin Van Dyke,
  My chores are all done. May I ride on my bike?”
  “Fine,” called his mom, as he darted outside.
  “But follow the rules of the road as you ride!”

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First draft:

  Darrin tried to remember
  The things his mom said,
  All the rules that were somewhere
  Up there in his head.
  But Betsy just smiled
  And he quickly forgot
  The things he should do
  And the things he should not. 

Final:

  Devin wanted to do what his mother had said,

  But he found that he did what his friends did instead.
  Betsy smiled and she waved and he simply forgot
  The things he should do and the things he should not.

Thanks, for reading!

Kelly